RANT 'N' RAVE
Life in the cycle lane
There is indeed cycle frenzy operating
within the confines of Tokyo and unless you've spent a great percentage of your teenage
life growing up in Holland, where the amount of bicycles exceeds that of tulips, it is
difficult not to be overwhelmed by this fact.
The first thing that struck me when arriving in Tokyo however was not the enormous amount
of cyclists themselves, but rather the amount of men riding women's bikes. Now don't get
me wrong - there is absolutely nothing amiss with men expressing their feminine side. But
the sight of young guys with bleached blond hair and orange skin, weaving their way
through the crowds whilst holding small plastic umbrellas is well… feminine. This
sight becomes truly more amazing if the blond wonder is somehow maintaining keitai
conversation at the same time, making this rather odd vision a confirmation of my
suspicions of life on other planets.
And why, after a few beers, do these ridiculous machines seem so tempting? The
concentration required in stopping myself climbing onto the back of an unknown ladybike
and riding off into the distance is immense. All at once those evil stories about some
poor gaijin who was shipped back kicking and screaming to their native country after
spending 14 nights in a Saitama prison seem to fizzle into nothing. During the daylight
hours I wouldn't be caught dead on such a monstrosity, but after a few drinks I get
beer-goggle fever and all I can think about is taking one of them babies home.
This is not the motivation behind my writings however; my query is this: Do I have to
move when a cyclist is coming towards me or do they? You see, here in Tokyo I have
wasted too much of my precious time playing chicken with some old granny who is gunning
towards me at life-threatening speed. Back home in England, this psychological battle does
not exist: I walk on the pavement and the granny rides on the road. Simple logic, except
that back home I have never seen a granny involved in anything but Bingo. Here, on the
other hand, anything goes and the rules appear a little hazy. It seems that as soon as
that evil bell is sounded, it is my destiny to step sideways or else face imminent
destruction at the hands of a protruding metal basket.
Other than off balance, I need to know where I stand. Can anyone help me?
Many thanks to Chris Newlands for this Rant.
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