RANT 'N' RAVE
Geek parade
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Illustration
by Dot |
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So it hits the fan but someone has to do
it.
The thing is: What is going on with gaijin men? They come over to Japan wide-eyed,
completely naive, uncultured and untravelled. They think that because they are in Asia, in
Japan, in Tokyo that they are in a "foreign" country and hence through some kind
of unchartered osmosis encountering a "valid" experience. Yet all their
"friends" are gaijin too, and all the places they go to have a gaijin majority
(the Hump, Bar wasn't it?, Mofrown, Gaswankit).
So what is it that they jam their letters back home to mum with? How do they impress their
compatriots down the local over a packet of pork scratchings? Here it is: They get a
Japanese girlfriend. Hardly original or vaguely an over achievement, considering. My
original confusion was "How does this work?" It took me four years to come to my
conclusion. Stop me if I'm wrong (Oh you can't!).
Scenario A. A Japanese girl blindly chooses a geeky gaijin guy for
several reasons:
She doesn't realize he's a geek and that no girl back home would touch him with a barge
pole. In Japan for some twist in fate and fortunes, this nerd gives her street
credibility. Apart from the obvious learning-English-for-free motive, there is also the
apparent ease of dating a foreign man as they believe every bare-faced lie and fall flat
on their faces for the short skirt and giggle routine.
Scenario B. The geek arrives in Japan just an inexperienced, untravelled,
uncultured embarrassment (unfortunately most leave pretty much the same way with one or
two superfluous adjustments - more/less money, a wife/ex-wife and maybe a few
semi-interesting stories about sumo, love hotels, fish, and the Yamanote line). Suddenly
he becomes a god, a direct reflex of scenario A.
The next stage in all the hullabaloo is Time. What will give first? Will she realize his
true identity or vice versa? As a mere gaijin girlie my observations are highly taboo. Of
course no one likes to realize that they have been deceived or that they themselves are
responsible for the self-deception. A part of me hopes that this article has the power to
spoil your romantic trip to Haneda airport or at least make you think twice in Mitsukoshi.
Yet again another part of me wishes you all the best.
Many thanks to reader Kerry Rogers for this Rant. |
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