Inside Man
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Spike Lee takes an uncharacteristic stroll into the action/adventure genre with his latest and most mainstream (big-budget) joint, a fresh and intriguingly constructed take on the tired old hostage drama. Story revolves around the give-and-take between the head of a foursome of bank robbers (Clive Owen) that has taken several dozen people hostage in a Wall Street bank, and the cop in charge of figuring out what’s going on (Denzel Washington), since these guys are not acting like proper bank robbers. They make demands, but don’t seem to care whether they are met. Are they stalling? Why? Superfluous and insufficiently explained subplot involving Christopher Plummer as a bank president with something to hide and Jodie Foster as the “facilitator” he hires just gets in the way, but frequent low-key humor keeps everything from getting too heavy. This one kept me guessing, right through to the rather satisfying conclusion, which you will not read about here, and even had me thinking back on it for a week or so. Also Chiwetel Ejiofor and Willem Dafoe. Nice score by Terence Blanchard. (129 min)
Cinemas 7 57 90 96 102 109 111 112 113 114 116 117 118 119 120
Mean Creek
Some kids lure the school bully along on a boating excursion, planning a revenge-motivated practical joke, which of course, in a constantly changing dynamic, gets out of hand. But don’t think you know where this is going. Writer/director Jacob Aaron Estes’ debut feature avoids the usual teenagers-in-the-woods clichés and black-and-white stereotypes in a taut, intelligent and intense examination of bullying and peer-driven behavior. Superb, utterly unaffected, three-dimensional performances by the entire young cast, notably Josh Peck as the bully, make this movie frighteningly real. (89 min)
Cinema 25
Breakfast on Pluto
Neil Jordan (The Crying Game) film about an orphaned transvestite who prefers to be called “Kitten.” S/he knows s/he’s “different,” cares not a bit what you think about it, and understands the truth that, well, you gotta be you. Kitten wanders passively through a succession of boyfriends—a biker, a rocker, a magician, an IRA killer—and we meet some colorful characters. But first you have to be made to care, and this is not done altogether successfully. Personally, I found it cloyingly whimsical, repetitive, overly long, and Cillian Murphy’s monotonous portrayal of Kitten increasingly tiresome. (135 min)
Cinema 41
New York Doll
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The influential proto-glam-punk band the New York Dolls, in time-honored rock band tradition, more or less self-destructed in 1975 due to pure excess. Some members died and some found other gigs, but bassist Arthur “Killer” Kane’s life spiraled ever downward into alcoholism, drugs, wife-beating, attempted suicide and finally Mormonism, which helped him get back on his feet and gave him a job as a library clerk. So maybe you never heard of the band and don’t dig punk. Why should you care? Well, because this heartwarming, heartbreaking, inspiring documentary is certain to confound your expectations (it did mine), and really has nothing to do with music. It follows the somewhat addled (but wryly self-deprecating) Kane as he learns that the Dolls have been asked to do a reunion gig in London, his apprehensions about re-entering (minus the glitter) his former persona, getting his bass out of hock, practicing hard and his eventual redemption. A moment toward the end where Kane’s imaginary nemesis, former bandmate David Johansen, plays a tribute to Kane is particularly moving. (78 min)
Cinema 24
Transporter 2
The only thing a movie called Transporter 2 has to do to please the people who will go see it is not be worse than the first. And this fairly dumb but fast-moving guilty pleasure about a super chauffeur (Jason Stratham) certainly delivers the goods. Comical evil-genius villains, enjoyably impossible stunts, imaginative and athletic chop-socky sequences (including one 10-on-1 battle), and, oh yes, car chases (and plane chases and school bus chases and jet-ski chases and airplane chases and even a Maserati-chasing-a-helicopter chase), and a kid-kidnapping to hold it all together. I was transported.
Cinemas 1 27 40 65 71 96 109 110 111 112 113 116 117 118 119 120 125
Poseidon
Old-wave remake of 1972’s Poseidon Adventure features a handful of disaster-film stereotypes purposefully left two-dimensional (shorter movie) struggling to get out of an ocean liner overturned by a really big wave (the CG rendering of which tops Titanic). In the process we encounter several stock situations (“C’mon! I think I found a way!”), some imaginative deaths and heroic rescues, and one or two brave sacrifices, interspersed with the requisite melodrama breaks. Directed by, but hardly the best work of, Wolfgang Peterson, who got his feet wet with Das Boot and The Perfect Storm. (99 min)
Cinemas 1 23 47 60 70 82 90 96 99 102 109 111 112 113 115 116 117 118 119 120 125
Stay
In this borderline pretentious flick, a creepy, almost prescient college kid (Ryan Gosling) tells psychiatrist Ewan McGregor that he plans to commit suicide in a few days. Can’t tell you more. Marc Forster, (Monster’s Ball, Finding Neverland) gets to show off a little in this Lynch-esque outing. But the fancy scene-to-scene segues and unexplained, subtle oddities (like a lot of twins and triplets, peculiar trouser lengths and vaguely repeated images) soon make it plain that there’s Something Happening Here. But we are not made to care about the characters, and the hackneyed denouement’s a letdown. (100 min)
Cinema 100
Boogeyman
In a movie relatively free of such bothersome concepts as narrative logic, a young man is tormented by memories of his dad reassuring him years earlier that there were no monsters living in his bedroom closet, just before being snatched and dragged, screaming, into said closet, never to be seen again. This heavily J-horror-influenced film is apparently about doors, closet and non-closet, which are all opened sloooowly. Then more doors are opened; it actually manages to make suspense boring. The monster is only rarely seen; the plot not at all. Should I even mention that the title is misspelled?
Cinemas 102 119
The upside
of anger
What Joan Allen is so rancorously, get-drunk angry about in this excellent women’s comedy/drama is that her husband has run off, presumably with his secretary, without even a note, leaving her to care for four difficult daughters (Erika Christensen, Evan Rachel Wood, Keri Russell and Alicia Witt) with the help of only a horny, boozy ex-ballplayer (Kevin Costner). The emotions in this film ring true, and the low-key humor is the kind that leaves welts. Allen, of course, owns the movie. She’s hotter than any of the younger hotties, and it’s a pure joy to watch her go over the top. (118 min)
Cinema 35
The Omen
Unnecessary, perfunctory remake of Richard Donner’s 1976 horror classic is only creepy where the original was scary, and director John Moore (the so-so Behind Enemy Lines and Flight of the Phoenix) is clearly out of his depth and in it for the bucks. An American ambassador to Britain realizes (slooowly) that his young son may literally be the devil incarnate. Liev Schreiber and Julia Stiles do okay, but pale against the original’s Gregory Peck and Lee Remick. David Thewlis, Pete Postlethwaite, and Michael Gambon slum it, and Mia Farrow camps it up. Released worldwide on June 6 (6/6/06, get it?).
Cinema 2 51 61 99 109 110 112 113 116 119 120
The Da Vinci Code
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Dan Brown’s inescapable 60-million-seller raised the literary bar for hackneyed, hoax-based hokum. Perhaps, even on this level, the necessary suspension of disbelief is easer to achieve from the written word than from the filmed script. The Big Revelation, involving a cover-up that would disastrously undermine the Catholic Church’s very reason for existing, was greeted with laughter at Cannes. Ron Howard’s direction is fine, the performances by Tom Hanks and Audrey Tautou are pretty good (while Ian McKellen steals all his scenes and Paul Bettany is constantly over the top as the albino monk assassin). It seems rushed, but at the same time the verbose and frequent explanations sap any suspense that’s created, turning this page-turner into a watch-watcher. And somehow it’s simply sillier. Rome has called for a boycott, which will only boost the film’s profits. I’d worry less about the negative image this kind of drivel gives the church, and more about why so many people are so willing to be entertained by a goofy Catholic conspiracy. (150 min)
Cinemas 2 3 10 11 26 45 60 70 90 95 96 99 102 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120
GOAL!
Rags-to-riches soccer, sorry, football story about a young Mexican guy (a vanilla Kuno Becker) who, following his dream, etc., gets a shot at playing for Newcastle United, but must first overcome several physical, emotional and melodramatic crises and touch on every conceivable sports cliché before (cue the French horns) triumphing in the Big Game. There’s not a frame in this sports fable that’s not predictable, and it sure as hell doesn’t take two hours to tell, but it has its charms, and fans of the sport will have fun. Lots of big-name cameos, some of whom even have lines (a mistake). (117 min)
Cinemas 1 17 29 55 62 71 82 90 95 96 99 102 109 111 112 113 114 116 117 118 119 120
Dreamer
Girl-and-her-horse story breaks no new ground, but it’s well enough made to merit a bit of your family’s time. The underhorse in this case is Sonador, a promising mare that breaks her leg and is to be put down, but is saved by the pleadings of young Dakota Fanning to single dad Kurt Russell that they heal and breed her. When Sonador turns out to be barren, they decide to race her again. There are some emotional goings-on involving the girl’s grandfather (Kris Kristofferson) and a confrontation with a bigwig horse breeder (the always excellent David Morse), but overt sentimentality is avoided. (106 min)
Cinemas 114 118
Big River
Movie by US-based Japanese director Atsushi Funabashi apparently made according to the “Wishful Thinking” school of filmmaking. That’s where you gather together a few bad actors—in this case a wandering Japanese hitchhiker, a middle-aged Pakistani and a leggy American hippie chick—put them in a car and do a road movie because you have no original ideas, and hope someone, somewhere will call it “art.” They communicate in broken English as they travel mostly unpaved roads, try on a little half-assed moralizing, and smoke a lot of cigarettes. Nice desert scenery, though. (104 min)
Cinema 16
Rumor has it...
This unfocused romantic comedy by Rob Reiner, who used to make good movies like When Harry Met Sally, is based on the clever premise that the movie The Graduate was based on a real but unidentified Pasadena family. But the execution is far from clever. An uncharacteristically inert Jennifer Aniston plays the granddaughter of a possible Mrs. Robinson (the always amusing Shirley MacLaine) and a surprisingly solid Kevin Costner is a possible Ben (the Dustin Hoffman character). What could have been sharp social satire is instead an embarrassingly bland feature-length sitcom. Coo coo ca-choo. (96 min)
Cinema 125
The Jacket
 |
Hitchhiking Gulf War veteran (Adrien Brody) with some amnesia
problems fixes the car of a spaced-out mother and her young daughter, then gets a ride with a bad guy and is soon framed for killing a cop. He’s sent to a funny farm where a sadistic shrink’s (Kris Kristofferson) idea of therapy is putting him in a straight jacket and repeatedly locking him in a morgue drawer. Fun movie. It gets nuttier. A combination of drugs, brain damage and sensory deprivation causes him to time-travel 15 years into the future, where he hooks up with Keira Knightley, into whom the aforementioned young daughter has grown, and together they strive to save him from his reported death 15 years earlier. You have to buy into its premise, which is admittedly asking a lot, but if you do, you’re in for an above-average mystical mystery thriller and an intermittently credible take on the paradoxical nature of time travel. If you don’t (or if perhaps you’re claustrophobic), this jacket will probably not fit you. (102 min)
Cinemas 44 96 109 116 120
Alone in the Dark
This supremely idiotic excrescence from Uwe Boll, the German bottom feeder who specializes in making tedious movies from successful video games, offers the usual cheesy sets, plot inconsistencies, laughable dialogue (especially when uttered by Tara Reid), screen-saver SFX and chainsaw editing. Hilarious scrolling prologue. It’s the old Portal-To-The-Underworld thing, starring has-been actors Christian Slater as a hunky paranormal investigator, Reid as a midriff-baring anthropologist (as if!) and Stephen Dorff as the mucho macho head of a ghostbusting SWAT team. Bring some tissues—for your ears. (96 min)
Cinema 6
The Constant Gardener
 |
In this adaptation by Brazilian director Fernando Meirelles of
a John Le Carré “message” novel, Ralph Fiennes plays a mild-mannered British diplomat in Kenya who prides himself on tending his own garden and minding his own business. But when his activist wife (a career-best by Rachel Weisz) dies in a road accident in one of Africa’s darkest corners—along with a doctor friend he thinks she may have been fooling around with—he decides to launch an investigation of his own and gradually perceives that she was murdered while looking into some illegal drug testing on the unsuspecting third-world poor. It’s hard to imagine a more perfect match to Carré’s spare writing style than Meirelles’s gritty imagery (he made City of God). It’s a gut-wrenching, angry movie, a thinking person’s romance/thriller, with a plot that reveals itself like the layers of an onion and tension that ratchets up just as slowly. The fine supporting cast includes Danny Huston, Bill Nighy and Hubert Koundé. Stays with you. Wow. (129 min)
Cinemas 10 30 48 63 90 96 111 112 119
The Pink Panther
Even gifted comedians like Steve Martin should know their limits. It’s not that reprising Peter Sellers’ Inspector Clouseau is beyond Martin’s limits, it’s beyond anyone’s limits, so completely did Sellers inhabit the character. What’s next, Charlie Chaplin’s Little Tramp? There’s one mildly funny diction lesson, but most of the comedy in this Clou-less film relies on bad French accents, and ziss eez noot fun-nee. Plus it manages to make Kevin Kline (as Dreyfus) bland. It left me depressed, and that’s not what a comedy’s supposed to do. Also Jean Reno and Beyoncé Knowles’ cleavage. (93 min)
Cinemas 7 57 109 110 112 116 119
Everything is Illuminated
Lovingly crafted directorial debut by Liev Schreiber has an obsessive young American (Elijah Wood) and his Ukrainian guide (who violently murders the English language at every opportunity) along with the guide’s blind grandpa at the wheel and grandpa’s “seeing eye bitch” (named Sammy Davis Junior Junior) setting off in a Yugo to locate the woman who saved his own grandpa from the Nazis. Starts out as a hilarious, surreal ethnic comedy and segues nicely into something more meaningful but no less engrossing. Nice location shots and unique music. Complete the title with “...in the light of the past.” (106 min)
Cinemas 1 35
Good night,
and good luck
 |
Fascinating and compelling real-life drama (cautionary tale, thriller) about how, between October 1953 and April 1954, visionary TV news pioneer Edward R. Murrow and CBS went up against anti-communist demagogue Joseph McCarthy and defeated him (or brought about his self-destruction) without stooping to his level or violating the rules of journalistic objectivity. This historic face-off is filmed in black & white, which seems perfect, and, in one of cinematic history’s most brilliant examples of creative casting, the role of Senator McCarthy is played by… Senator McCarthy, in actual newsreel footage. Murrow is flawlessly portayed, down to the smallest nuance, by David Strathairn, and writer/director George Clooney has a small part as Murrow’s producer, Fred Friendly. This brain-food movie is completely non-manipulative, though its none-too-subtle message is that those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. It incidentally casts a less-than-admiring eye on the state of today’s journalism, and if you replace “communism” with “terrorism” you’ll see how vitally resonant it is today. Nominated for six Oscars. (93 min)
Cinema 99
BloodRayne
This outstanding example of what actors will do for a paycheck is yet another gory video game adaptation from Uwe Boll, Germany’s answer to Ed Wood (uses travel posters of Bavarian castles as positioning shots). Cast of faded character actors includes Michael Madsen, Meat Loaf, Michael Paré and even Geraldine Chaplin. And Ben Kingsley, sir, it’s time to give back your Oscar. But Billy Zane’s funny. Kristanna Loken (Terminator 3) plays a vampire/human half-breed (can’t you guys come up with anything NEW?). Graceless, plodding and edited with a sharpened wooden stake. A sequel is threatened. (94 min)
Cinema 6
Broken Flowers
In this understated comedy-drama from Jim Jarmusch, Bill Murray, a rich, depressed, over-the-hill Don Juan, currently a world-class couch potato (no one does nothing as drolly amusingly as Murray), receives an unsigned letter telling him that he has, somewhere, a 19-year-old son. He doesn’t really care, but his neighbor (Jeffrey Wright), an amateur sleuth, does and helps him narrow down his many past conquests to four possible moms, and he hits the road to visit them. Funny yet reflective, Jarmusch’s most accessible film to date is not a mystery; don’t expect closure. The fun’s in the journey. (106 min)
Cinemas 7 20 52 64 109 112 116 119
The Longest Yard
While Robert Aldrich’s 1974 flick starring Burt Reynolds wasn’t the director’s best work, it certainly didn’t deserve this heavy-handed Adam Sandler remake. Sandler is a disgraced and incarcerated pro quarterback (right; the man isn’t even an adult) tapped by the warden to organize an inmates’ team to play against the guards. What follows is charmless, lazy, borderline sadistic, tediously homophobic and contemptuous of its audience. That the gifted Chris Rock appears as Sandler’s sidekick is kind of sad. And did Burt Reynolds (who also appears) get a face-lift or recently turn Asian? (113 min)
Cinemas 9 43
Rent
This clumsy adaptation by Chris Columbus (who did the clumsy adaptations of the first two Harry Potter books) of the Broadway musical about AIDS, gays and not paying the rent left me less than enchanted. Eight dorky faux-bohemians (four of whom are infected) sing almost continuously and jump about a lot. Bright spots: a sizzling Rosario Dawson and transvestite Wilson Jermaine Heredia. Recommended only for those who have already experienced and liked the stage version as part of a live audience and would like to reprise their enjoyment. For all others it’s a two-and-a-quarter-hour slog. (525,600 min)
Cinemas 22 44 112 119 120
Roots Rock Reggae
Re-release of a 1977 documentary on reggae music during one of the genre’s most inventive eras and the roots of the genre in Jamaica (and Ethiopia) offers only a few glimpses of Bob Marley but makes up for it with some fascinating (now-archival) footage of record producer/recording engineer/musician doing a bit of mixing in his Black Ark studio, and some concert and behind-the-scenes footage of and/or interviews with Ras Michael, U-Roy, the Mighty Diamonds, Jimmy Cliff, Joe Higgs, the Gladiators, Third World and Inner Circle. Its political message (“Jamaica is poor”) is managed less effectively. (60 min)
Cinema 19
V for Vendetta
 |
Near-future scenario has Britain being run by a fascist dictator (John Hurt) with only one wraith-like dark knight in a Guy Fawkes mask and calling himself “V” (Hugo Weaving) conspicuously willing to stand up to the tyrant. This Guy makes his presence known mainly by blowing up buildings (the Old Bailey, Parliament). Natalie Portman is a young TV reporter who gets caught up in the conflict when V rescues her from intended rape by a pair of the dictator’s thugs. This pseudo-philosophical romp from the Wachowski Brothers (The Matrix movies) is getting criticism from conservatives (Dubya is going to hate it) for glorifying terrorism, but it’s the old terrorist vs. freedom fighter thing, so read it as you will. Tempest in a teapot. This maniacal concoction is idea-powered, provocative, disturbing and brutally gorgeous. Yes, it’s subversive, but in an easy-to-follow, teenage kind of way. Mostly it’s just a bit of Orwellian fun, and at least it makes you think. Great British cast includes Stephen Rea, Rupert Graves, Tim Pigott-Smith and Stephen Fry. (132 min)
Cinemas 1 27 40 65 71 82 90 96 99 102 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120
Ice Age: The Meltdown
In 2002’s Ice Age, three mammals that would make Darwin gag try to return a human baby to its tribe as the glaciers edge south. Now our furry threesome is trying to outrun global-warming-caused advancing floodwaters. This would make them tens of thousands of years old, but let’s not quibble. This accounting office-mandated sequel, though hopelessly padded (even musical numbers), is entertaining in a scattershot sort of way, but hasn’t a tenth of the soul of the original. The antics of the saber-toothed squirrel thingy and his acorn, however, are alone worth the price of admission. (90 min)
Cinemas 2 10 26 56 61 70 95 96 99 102 107 109 111 112 114 115 116 117 118 120
The New World
 |
Terrence Malik makes slow films that require patience to watch (Days of Heaven, The Thin Red Line), and this more truthful telling of the story of Pocahontas (not a difficult thing, Disney), the Algonquian princess who helped the first settlers at Jamestown and later traveled to England (thus a double meaning for the title), is more like watching a painting being created. Lush and visually sumptuous, though marred by some badly written voiceovers, this is an often-fascinating rumination on the true nature of civilization. 14-year-old Q’Orianka Kilcher stars opposite Colin Farrell and Christian Bale. (155 min)
Cinemas 1 29 55 62 71 82 90 95 96 99 102 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120
The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie
 |
I confess to stopping on Nickelodeon from time to time while channel surfing and finding this unashamedly childish kids’ program to be wittier than expected, and eventually just had to have the SBSP underwear. Kidding. How can you not like a program that has character names like Eugene H. Krabs, Squidward Tentacles and a starfish named Patrick? Theme of this nautical nonsense is the eternally optimistic title character’s efforts at self-improvement in the seabedroom community of Bikini Bottom. It’s not all that deep (sorry), but it’s fun. And anyone who says it isn’t is just a big Goofy Goober. (87 min)
Cinemas 33 96
Underworld: Evolution
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What’s there to say about this unintelligently designed sequel to the witless, humorless vampire-versus-werewolves original? You liked the first one; you’ll like this noisy, violent mess. Kate Beckinsale for some reason again stuffs herself into a squeaking black neoprene body suit (hubby is the director). Continuous chases and repetitive, lengthy battle scenes alternate with dull, endless exposition. The CG fangs and fur fly furiously as the wolfmen and bloodsuckers (plus a few hybrids) go at it, but I had the same problem I had with the first: Who are the good guys? Why do I not care? No fun. (106 min)
Cinemas 2 51 61 90 99 102 109 112 113 114 116 118 120
The Libertine
Though Johnny Depp is usually the best thing about his movies, it took some courage to take on this portrayal of John Wilmot, the Second Earl of Rochester, who died in 1680 of syphilis at age 33. A Restoration-era sex addict, drunk and writer of poetry and plays of astounding obscenity to whom moderation did not come easily, the earl tells us early on, “You will not like me.” We don’t, but we still watch, and Depp even elicits an illogical sadness from us toward the end. Directed by Laurence Dunmore from the screenplay by Stephen Jeffreys and also starring John Malkovich and Samantha Morton. (120 min)
Cinemas 8 24 96 112 116 117 119 120
The Producers
Some filmed musicals work (Oliver!), and some don’t (The Phantom of the Opera). This filmed adaptation of the stage adaptation of Mel Brooks’ 1956 directorial debut kept me busting a fairly constant gut. Pair of greedy Broadway producers (Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick) connives to stage a musical so offensive (Springtime for Hitler) that it will immediately close and they can keep the (multiple) backers’ money. Includes some of the funniest gay guys to ever hit the screen (“Keep it Gay!”). Helped immeasurably that the songs and lyrics were written by Brooks and not, say, Andrew Lloyd Webber. (128 min)
Cinemas 2 11 26 45 60 70 90 95 96 99 102 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120
Tom Dowd and the Language of Music
 |
John Coltrane, Ray Charles, Aretha Franklin, Otis Redding, Ornette Coleman, The Allman Brothers, Eric Clapton, Les Paul, and on and on. All great artists, but the success of their records was due to the efforts of a visionary recording engineer named Tom Dowd. Mark Moormann’s documentary on this entertaining, gregarious fellow, seven years in the making, examines Dowd’s career, starting from when records were cut directly onto discs through his development of slide faders and a workable eight-track to today’s digital techniques. Dowd was (he died in 2002, just before this film was completed) more than the “guy in the booth.” He was to many artists a father figure, psychologist, musically sophisticated technological innovator and as much a genius on the mixing board as the greats he recorded. The film includes some awesome archival footage and a wondrous ending sequence, when as
a demonstration for the movie he remixes the 30-year-old master tracks of “Layla.” This film is not for everyone, only people who like music. (82 min)
Cinema 38
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