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SHOWING |
CURRENT MOVIES
EIGA (Japanese film)
In this intriguing omnibus triptych, three highly acclaimed non-Japanese directors have a go at setting a short, Japanese-language piece in a our fair city. Overall, it’s an interesting failure. The first segment, Michel Gondry’s “Interior Design,” features Akira and Yoko as a young couple who move to Tokyo and stay with Akemi, their high school friend.Akira is an aspiring filmmaker who has come to screen his avant-garde work, but he’s forced to take a job as a gift-wrapper. Noticing the attraction between Akira and Akemi, and feeling useless, Yoko literally turns into an inanimate object. The second section, Leos Carax’ “Merde,” is the epitome of a Japanese nightmare, and quite entertaining in its surrealist verve. A feces-covered gaijin zombie lives in the Tokyo sewers and attacks people with leftover WWII explosives. Completely twisted, this segment—a reworking of Nagisa Oshima’s classic Death by Hanging—has an admirably bizarre mise-en-scène. The final piece, “Shaking Tokyo” by Korean auteur Bong Joon-ho, centers on hikikomori, and is rather pedestrian—save for the final shot. In the end, only Carax’ inspired Godzilla-meets-New-Wave segment is memorable. (110 min) Rob Schwartz
Cinemas 20 64 96 112 116
Movie News
Leonardo DiCaprio is reportedly in talks to play Russian revolutionary Vladimir Lenin in a new movie, according to British newspaper The Sun. The film, titled Lenin’s Brain, will be directed by Russian filmmaker Aleksandr Borodyansky, who insists the 33-year-old Titanic star is perfect for the part because of his striking physical resemblance to the communist statesman. •
Variety reports that Quentin Tarantino’s next film, Inglorious Bastards, has finally found a distributor. Tarantino and producer Harvey Weinstein met with five studios before announcing that Universal got the deal. The film follows a band of US soldiers facing death by firing squad for their misdeeds. They are given a chance to redeem themselves by heading into Nazi-occupied France on a suicide mission for the Allies. Brad Pitt is reportedly in talks with Tarantino to star in the film, which begins production in the fall in Germany and France.
Kevin Costner says he would like to make a sequel to his hit 1992 film The Bodyguard. Costner, who starred as the title character opposite Whitney Houston, has never made a sequel to any of his films. But he told the New York Daily News that he already has a plot idea in mind should studio bosses change their minds. One thing’s for sure, however: the Bodyguard and Houston’s character Rachel Marron won’t be getting back together. “I think he was true to his word; he didn’t want to guard celebrities anymore,” Costner said. CB
Also showing
Closing The Ring
Four plot lines are just too much to bother keeping track of in this bland, decade-jumping weepie. (119 min)
Cinemas 8 130
Hot Fuzz
Does to Hollywood buddy action comedies what Shaun of the Dead did to zombie movies. Same filmmakers. (121 min)
Cinema 21
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
I had hoped that Spielberg and Lucas would come up with something more than comfortable nostalgia. Hard to dislike, but also hard to recommend. (126 min)
Cinemas 57 90 95 96 102 111 114 115 116 118 119 120 125 127 130 135 137
One Missed Call
Yet another tired Hollywood adaptation of a J-horror flick. This is one call you might want to miss. (87 min)
Cinema 119
Reservation Road
Art-house revenge flick about the death of a man’s son in a hit-and-run accident suffers from the thriller-oriented adaptation of the novel. (102 min)
Cinema 52
Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny
A fictionalized, sometimes hilarious, schlock rock opera about the origins of the stoner band Tenacious D (Jack Black and Kyle Gass). (90 min)
Cinemas 21 135
The Bucket List
Latest effort by the once-gifted Rob Reiner is obvious, flimsy and manipulative, relying on the star power of Nicholson and Freeman. (97 min)
Cinema 106
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PAST
ISSUES
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By
Don Morton
Coach Carter
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This sports/crusading-teacher movie
sermonizes more than a little, and some, okay, most of the
characters are stereotypes, and, yes, it hauls out every cliché
in the inspirational-sports-movie playbook. But this can all
be forgiven in light of the films powerful and positive
message of empowerment, and by the fact that the aforementioned
sermonizing is done by Samuel L. Jackson in his most intense
role since Pulp Fiction. Its based on the life of Richmond,
Calif., high-school basketball coach Ken Carter, who put grades
ahead of sports, demanding his team sign contracts guaranteeing
at least a 2.3 GPA to keep playing. Few kids become NBA millionaires,
but thousands are cheated out of an education by believing,
and being supported in the belief, that such a goal is their
only shot at success. Carters tough-love tactics result
in several victories before he discovers that his kids are
not living up to their contracts. He then locks the gym and
makes the news. Its a bit overlong at 2:20, but quite
satisfying, and I got a little misty more than a few times.
Cinema 8
Dolphin Glide
This is a 22-minute, experienced-based,
dolphins-eye view of the underside of wavesand
waves and waves and waves and a few dolphins and more waves.
Then a dolphin or two shows up and then more waves. Cool background
video, but hardly enough to put butts in seats. So there ensues
this unintentionally hilarious, 26-minute making of
supplement, in which sun-fried Australia-based American underwater
photographer George Greenough shows how he shot (Well,
you look in here) and edited on an old slice-and-splice
machine (Um, digital is easier) this riveting
22 minutes of waves (and dolphins).
Cinema 8
Tarnation
Jonathan Caouettes mother was
a gorgeous child model until depression and electric shock
therapy plunged her into a life of mental illness. Jonathan
picked up a video camera at age 11 to begin, basically, making
this film (comprising home movies, answering machine tapes,
letters, photos and interviews) chronicling a life of pain,
abuse, alienation and obsession. Remarkable in its construction,
its been called visceral, poetic, raw, impassioned and
hopeful. And I suppose it is. Personally I found it incredibly
self-indulgent and exhibitionist, and couldnt wait for
it to be over.
Cinema 21
Metallica: Some
Kind of Monster
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In 2001, legendary head-bangers Metallica,
who were having some rock-god-related problems (sick of each
other, no fun anymoreapparently it gets harder to express
teen rage when youre over 40 and a multimillionaire)
started work on a brand new album. They took into the studio
with them film documentarians Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky,
and a vaguely comical traveling psychotherapist. The therapist
could have said, Why dont you just retire?
but would then be screwing himself out of $40,000/month. The
shrinks main job is reconciling singer James Hetfield
(who soon drops out for a year of alcohol rehab) and drummer
Lars Ulrich (who seems like hed be very easy to dislike).
I couldnt stop thinking about Spinal Tap. Finally Lars
and James agree on something (to fire the psychotherapist)
and make the album. The bands implosion and reassembly
takes two years, and 2:20 on the screen, but all kidding aside,
its quite worthwhile, and it matters not a whit if you
dont like Heavy Metal music (there isnt any) or
have never heard of Metallica.
Cinema 30
Herbie: Fully Loaded
This resurrection of the apparently
possessed Love Bug (four movies in the 60s and 70s,
a TV series and TV movie, none of which I can remember) contains
few surprises (except perhaps the casting of better-than-this
actors Michael Keaton and Matt Dillon), but its okay
entertainment for little kids who have never seen a movie
before, and its borderline tolerable for parents. Most
of the giggles are Herbies, as he (it?) winks his headlights,
smiles with his bumper, and bonks villains with his doors
and trunk lids. Runs out of gas toward the end. Guess who
wins the Big Race.
Cinemas 7 57 96 99 102 113 114 117
Robots
Though the Be True To Yourself
chestnut is getting old, this astonishingly creative production,
despite being aimed at kids, has plenty to keep adults interested.
Its cluttered, colorful, kinetic and full of fun Rube
Goldberg contraptions. Has to do with a venal robot maker
that wants to sell only upgrades and has stopped making spare
parts for older models, which are starting to look like Havana
taxis (ethnic cleansing?). Robin Williams shines as the voice
of con (can?) man Fender, as does Jim Broadbent as the villainess
Madame Gasket, but the rest of the voice cast is on autopilot.
Cinemas 2 10 26 45 60 90 96 99 102 107 109 110 111 112 114
115 116 117 118 119 120
Team America: World Police
If youre not offended by this
Trey Parker/Matt Stone movie at least once, I dont ever
want to meet you. Anatomically (but far from politically)
correct marionettes (great sex scene) satirize Jerry Bruckheimer
and George W. Bush, but also Michael Moore and half a dozen
self-serious Hollywood activist types. The satire is fearless,
but its also scattershot and ultimately pointless. When
the humor works (about half the time), youll be wincing
and laughing at the same time. As usual, the music (Pearl
Harbor sucked and I miss you and Youre worthless,
Alec Baldwin) is the best thing.
Cinemas 21 64
Masked and Anonymous
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Why? Why? Why? In this tragically,
monumentally incoherent film,a legendary folksinger named
Jack Fate (!) is sprung from prison by a nefarious concert
promoter in order to perform in a charity concert in a chaotic,
post-revolutionary, vaguely Latin American/African/Asian country.
In normal circumstances, this would be an instantly ignorable
film. But the legendary folksinger in this case is a near-catatonic
Bob Dylan, the presence of whom is apparently enough to cause
a few dozen normally sane actors to overlook an atrociously
rotten script and fall all over themselves for the chance
to appear alongside Mr. Zimmerman in a movie. The result is
every bit as lame and transparent as Crossroads or Glitter,
but with better music. This pretentious mess even contains
some gratuitous violence. Its the kind of movie you
keep watching to see if it will get even worse. It does. So
why would a real-life legend stoop to this level of self-destruction?
You got me. The answer is probably still blowin in the
wind.
Cinema 30
The Island
Had hoped that Michael Bay, on his
first outing free of the evil Jerry Bruckheimer, would try
something other than his usual shallow, loud, bloated trash.
Nope. Has to do with a highly regulated, evidently post-apocalyptic
shelter from which two people (Ewan McGregor & Scarlett
Johansson) escape after learning the real purpose of the place.
Already weak plot turns asinine once the two reach civilization
(L.A.) and it tries for humor, and the rest is the usual car
chases, explosions and blatant product placement. Entire cast
(including Sean Bean, Steve Buscemi & Djimon Hounsou)
should be ashamed.
Cinemas 1 29 31 55 62 71 82 90 95 96 99 102 107 108 109 110
111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120
Riding the Bullet
Stephen King can really write. If you
dont know it yet, he wrote Stand by Me and The Shawshank
Redemption. But this weak, muddled, incoherent potpourri of
King schlock and gore, an adaptation of one of the authors
e-books, is of the teens-only variety, offering up the usual
graveyards, dead men talking, dark and stormy nights, too
many fake scares and even traces of Christine and Cujo. Title
refers to a roller coaster that the main character (Jonathan
Jackson) was too scared to ride when he was a kid. Also featuring
David Arquette, Barbara Hershey. Directed by Mick Garris.
Cinema 6
Life and Debt
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Ever wonder what those
angry anti-globalization demonstrators are all worked up about?
Well, this. Stephanie Blacks documentary shows how the
IMF pretty much raped the island of Jamaica, wiping out its
industry and agriculture in the name of Free Trade. Is this
true? I dont know. But I was educated by this stern
scolding of a film, and will henceforth look at the news a
bit differently. As a movie, its intelligently if not
ingeniously put together, but its more than a little
repetitive, consisting mainly of talking heads, notably former
Jamaican Prime Minister Michael Manley. Has a public television
feel to it. And it escapes me why the film is structured around
an ever-so-slightly condescending look at what visiting touristsnot
the hardest targets on the globedont know about
Jamaicas economic plight. This is not playing fair.
Overall, though, its undeniably persuasive and delivers
its message in human terms. Refreshingly, Black never pretends
to be objective; shes got an agenda. Her message is
loud and clear, but she doesnt tell us what to do with
it.
Cinema 38
Creep
Very yucky slasher flick about this creepy
thingy that lives in the London underground starts out well,
and Franka Potente (Run Lola Run) makes it watchable for the
less squeamish among us, at least as long as the villain stays
hidden and we have to use our imaginations. Theres some
nice hand-held camera work and its properly claustrophobic.
But even Frankas charms pale once the creature is (unwisely)
revealed (as a kind of Gollum on a bad hair day) who operates
this mad scientists torture lab, and the whole thing
falls apart as things get increasingly, um, explicit. Ewwww.
Cinemas 35 49 60
Sniper 3
Plodding, padded, second sequel to a film
not many people even remember, about an over-the-hill Marine
sniper recruited for one last shot. Sample dialogue: His
life aint worth a damn unless hes risking it or
taking someone elses. Yes. Well. In my review
of Sniper 2, I wrote, Tom Berenger is the guy who made
Platoon, Major League and Someone to Watch Over Me, and its
kind of sad to see him sleepwalking through this direct-to-video
paycheck. Copy that. Lots of trigger-finger close-ups,
crosshair shots. Maudlin, slow-moving and boring, this one
misses the target.
Cinema 43
Star Wars Episode
III: Revenge of the Sith
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Stupendous, it is. George Lucas finally brings
full circle the Shakespearian space opera he launched long,
long ago in 1977 (and at the same time makes up for the disappointing
Episodes I and II). It provides no answers, for the simple
reason that we already know whats going to happen. What
it does, and brilliantly, is provide the details of how Anakin
Skywalker loses his way and gains great power only by destroying
everything he is trying to save. Granted, Hayden Christensen
is not the strongest actor to take on this central role, but
he does okay, and it couldve been a lot worse. Fittingly,
the SFX set a new standard for realism and sheer vividness
(yes, even better than LOTR). No video-game races, no phony
clone multitudes. Its fast-paced and packs an unexpected
emotional punch. Sure, it has some clunky dialogue, but (sorry,
George) it wouldnt be a Star Wars movie without clunky
dialogue. Special honors to Ian McDiarmid as Chancellor Palpatine.
Cinemas 2 3 7 10 11 26 45 57 60 61 70 81 90 95 96 99 102 107
109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120
Alfie
Moderately successful transplanting (London
to Manhattan) and updating (60s to today) of the Michael
Caine classic takes a lighter approach; theres no abortion
scene, and the womanizing cad at least tries to be likable.
But what was a swingin lifestyle during the sexual revolution
seems downright dangerous today, and it leaves one vaguely
uncomfortable. None of this is Jude Laws fault, who
turns in a solid performance as the smug, narcissistic and
ultimately clueless title character whose karma eventually
catches up with him, and taken on its own its entertaining
enough, especially for Law fans.
Cinema 52
Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights
Its hard to make a bland movie that
features pulsating Latin music and is set in Havana, but this
one gives it a pretty good try. Tepid script has rich American
teenage girl in 1958 Havana hooking up with a salsa-swinging
local kid of whom her parents would not approve, etc. Unless,
maybe, they win the big dance contest (which they actually
call The Big Dance Contest). The kids are all
right, and the dancings okay, but just about everything
elsecheesy and inexplicable cameo by Patrick Swayze-hips,
lame dialogue, pseudo political babble, laughably sanitized
Cuban revolutionfalls short.
Cinema 52
Duplex
This forced, one-joke movie must have looked
better when homicidally inclined director Danny DeVito (Throw
Mama from the Train, Drowning Mona) pitched it. Yuppie couple
(a dull Ben Stiller & a duller Drew Barrymore) buys a
Brooklyn house, but cannot evict the sweet old lady (81-year-old
Eileen Essell) in the rent-controlled apartment upstairs.
Sweet soon turns to irritating, and before you know (or believe)
it, the two are contemplating murder. Id call it a black
comedy except for that pesky comedy part. The only humor is
of the crass, Home Alone, physical type. Dont even rent
this Duplex.
Cinemas 9 32
Modigliani
Overlong, overdramatic, overly artsy and
vaguely silly biopic about the last years of the young artists
life is heavy on bad-boy incident, light on examinations of
the mans creativity and passion. Amadeo Modigliani,
or Modi to his friends, is portrayed in a bathetic performance
by Andy Garcia as a drunken, drug-addicted party animal, while
Picasso (engaged in a mostly made-up rivalry with the title
character) is a clown in a bad rug, and other artists of the
period, such as Rivera, Utrillo and Soutine, are madcap sidekicks.
Theres a painting contest at the end! Totally inappropriate
music.
Cinemas 52 102
Riding Giants
Stacy
Peralta does here for surfing what his Dogtown and Z-Boys
did for skateboarding, focusing, as the title suggests, on
the moving mountains of water in Hawaii and other places that
stand six to eight stories tall. Gnarly. Using outstanding
archival footage, Peralta follows the sports continuing
evolution from big boards to short boards to things that look
more like water skis, on which you are flung by a jet ski
onto these impossibly big waves, as jaw-droppingly demonstrated
by superstar Laird Hamilton. Vicariously thrilling and, like,
totally awesome. Cool music. Big screen, please.
Cinema 99
Vera Drake
Mike Leighs best film since Secrets
and Lies is an astounding, morally complex character study
of a cheerful, willfully oblivious abortionist in 1951 Britain
who helps out poor women who cannot afford proper
clinics. Imelda Staunton is phenomenal in the title role,
as Leighs close-up camera registers every subtle nuance
of expression. The film does not judge or preach. Indeed,
its not really about abortion, but about family, and
about a woman who sees herself useful, but whose entire world
comes crashing down when she is reluctantly prosecuted. Strong
supporting performances.
Cinema 42
War of the Worlds
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It began life in 1898
as an H.G. Wells novel, had its first reincarnation as an
Orson Welles radio broadcast in 1938 that caused panic in
the streets (and decades of research on mass hysteria), followed
by the 1953 Hollywood movie that pretty much set the standard
for sci-fi thrillers of the day. It also spawned a late 80s
TV series, a Marvel Comics series and even a musical. So now
its probably ready for the Big Time, meaning Steven
Spielberg, Tom Cruise and Dakota Fanning, and it promises
to be one of the loudest motion pictures ever made. Powerful
tripod war machines (one of the few aspects retained from
the 1953 effort) turn up on Earth (but theyre not from
Mars this timeprobably a diplomatic thing), and dockworker
Cruise does battle to protect his family. I havent seen
it yet, as there were no press previews, but Ill have
a more opinionated review for you in a few weeks.
Cinemas 2 3 10 11 26 45 56 60 61 70 81 90 95 96 99 102 107
108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119
Open Water
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You might not think that watching a couple
of people float around in the ocean for 60 of a films
80 minutes would be very interesting, let alone scary, but
youd be wrong. The couple in question had gone diving
in the Caribbean on a large party boat, but due to an ominous
series of events leading to a nose-counting screw-up, the
boat leaves the diving area thinking they are aboard. And
when they surface, they find themselves quite alone in a very,
very big ocean, filled with creatures that are not aware that
humans are at the top of the food chain. As they await rescue,
they have to deal with curious sharks, stinging jellyfish,
dehydration, seasickness, hysteria, darkness and even marital
bickering. This quiet thriller was filmed on the cheap (reportedly
$130,000), with a kind of Blair Witch feel to it, but perhaps
more effective for it. And its all the more horrifying,
and at a gut level, because if could actually happen. And
no one likes being forgotten. I was sweating at the end.
Cinemas 33 90 109 110 111 112 116 118 119
Dear Frankie
In order to protect deaf, nine-year-old Frankie
(Jack McElhone) from his abusive dad, his mother (Emily Mortimer)
has fabricated a detailed deception, telling the boy his fathers
in the merchant marine and sending him letters she writes
herself. But when dads supposed ship docks at their
port town, she has to pay a stranger (Gerard Butler) to pose
as the boys peripatetic papa. They bond. Then mom finds
herself attracted to the guy as well. Its not nearly
as sappy as it sounds, and though some relationships seem
a bit rushed, this infectious, subtle emotional tale avoids
manipulation.
Cinemas 22 49
Melinda and Melinda
Woody Allens best and certainly most
ambitious film in years tells two stories in parallel, using
just one set of circumstances (a young woman common to both
storiesRadha Mitchellcrashes a dinner party).
Ones a comedy, starring Will Farrell and Amanda Peet,
the others a tragedy, starring Chloe Sevigny, Johnny
Lee Miller and Chiwetel Ejiofor. Forget all that juvenile
whingeing about Woodys earlier films. Hes
making the films he wants to, ones that, especially like this
one, require you to pay attention if you are to appreciate
their complexity and wit, and in a way to participate.
Cinema 100
The Nomi Song
Landing in the middle of New Yorks
avant-garde musical/cultural crossroads of the late `70s was
an elfin, otherworldly (the film is bookended with clips from
It Came from Outer Space), retro-futurist humanoid singer
named Klaus Nomi. A trained German opera singer (spookiest
Tosca youve ever seen), his geometric outfits, kabuki
makeup, powerful countertenor and intense artificiality took
the scenes hipsters by storm, until he became an early
casualty of AIDS in 1983. This brilliant and amusingly assembled
documentary is a stylish, affectionate portrait by Andrew
Horn, who knew Nomi.
Cinema 36
Unleashed
A lethal chop-socky artist has been literally
dog-collared (alternate title: Danny the Dog) since childhood
by a Glasgow crime boss (Bob Hoskins in full lather), who
removes the collar when he wants a leg or two broken. Yes,
I know. But once you get past the this silly conceit, the
annoying music and its complete illogicality, what youve
got is a nicely constructed, better-than-average Jet Li film
(not difficult), produced and written by action auteur Luc
Besson, directed by Louis Leterrier (The Transporter), and
choreographed by Yeun Wo-ping. Also Morgan Freeman as a kind,
blind piano tuner.
Cinemas 5 30 48 63 96 102 109 111 112 113 114 115 116 117
118 119
Batman Begins
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You can forget all that campy stuff. This
one is serious, dark and scary. The theme here is overcoming
fearin this case of batsand of turning it back
on the bad guys (represented this time by crime boss Tom Wilkinson,
refreshingly not a super-villain). It chronicles, with logic
and rationality (for a comic book character), the gradual
metamorphosis of a terrified kid, traumatized by his parents
murders, into the Caped Crusader. Apologies to Michael Keaton
and Val Kilmer (but perhaps not to George Clooney), but Christian
Bale is the best Batman yet. He gives depth to the tortured
Bruce Wayne character in a capable, engrossing, angry performance.
Also refreshing is the low-tech Batcave, which is dark and
dank and actually has bats. The bottom line is that this reworking
of the dark avenger by director Christopher Nolan is smart,
gritty, thoroughly entertaining and finally gets it right.
Also Michael Caine as manservant and mentor Alfred, Gary Oldman
as a good guy (!), and Morgan Freeman as a Q figure.
Cinemas 4 5 23 47 60 70 81 90 95 96 99 102 107 108 109 110
111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119
The Ring Two
The Ring scraped by on originality and some
good scares, and you didnt notice until later that it
didnt make a lick of sense. Well, that doesnt
work twice, even if the moneymen want it to. This horrible
story admittedly has a few Boo! moments, but these
are separated by long, plodding sequences of labored and/or
comically ridiculous exposition. Naomi Watts is far better
than this stale, absurd material deserves. Directed by Hideo
Nakata, who made the Japanese Ringu and Ringu 2, though this
is a new sequel to the American The Ring and not
a remake. Maybe he should move on.
Cinemas 11 34 50 61 90 95 96 99 102 109 110 111 112 113 114
115 116 117 118 119
50 First Dates
Its Groundhog Day meets The Wedding
Singer in this gooey, manipulative romantic comedy dealing
with the lighter side of short-term memory loss (!). A sweetAdam
Sandler (read: not funny) meets the girl of his
dreams (one-note actress Drew Barrymore), and they hit it
off. But shes forgotten him by the next morning. (The
audience is not so lucky.) Seems that, thanks to an automobile
accident, her brain reboots every night. So he has to start
over. They then, in essence, meet cute again times
50. This is not entertaining. Kind of like Memento, without
all the laughs.
Cinemas 1 21 96 109 112 116
One Point O
Scruffy, art-house sci-fi mystery is nicely
atmospheric and creepy, done in the Cronenberg/Lynch/Aronofsky
style and on a tight budget. A reclusive, telecommuting computer
programmer (Jeremy Sisto, for whom I am gaining respect) living
a sort of futuristic/retro lifestyle (not unlike Brazil) keeps
finding empty parcels delivered inside his locked apartment.
And hes developed an abnormal thirst for milk. The film
gets a bit repetitive in the middle, but is curiously involving
nonetheless. Nice minimalist use of sound. Also Deborah Kara
Unger, Udo Kier and Lance Henriksen. Also called Paranoia
1.0.
Cinema 24
Sahara
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Updated Indie Jones wannabe movie features
a cloyingly studly, buffed-up Matthew McConaughey, in shockingly
orange makeup for some reason and positively exuding preposterone,
doing battle with a lot of really ugly bad guys. Hes
in the title desert searching for a lost Civil War-era Confederate
ironclad buried there (and it gets even sillier), while romancing
Penelope Cruz, a doctor with the World Health Organization.
Right. Im not making this up. It was inspired by a novel
by Clive Cussler, whos suing, and directed by music-video
maker Breck Eisner, son of Michael and kind of a Steven Spielberg
without the talent. There are some pretty okay action sequences,
and chases involving every imaginable vehicle (also camels),
but its one of those movies where if youve seen
the trailers, youve seen all the good parts; the rest
is tiresome exposition, and it lacks any real tension. Steve
Zahn is good as the obligatory sidekick, and clearly slumming
are Delroy Lindo and William H. Macy.
Cinemas 1 27 40 60 71 82 109 111 112 116 117 118 119
The Assassination
of Richard Nixon
Sam Bickes (Sean Penn) marriage (to
Naomi Watts) is virtually finished (he thinks theyre
working it out), hes a failure at selling
furniture, and the bank wont give him a loan for his
flaky new business. But everythings someone elses
fault. And since its 1974, during the Watergate hearings,
he decides its mostly President Nixons. Though
the story, based loosely on a true incident, is not the most
compelling and a bit slow-moving, completely lacking a point,
this one is well worth seeing solely for Penns riveting
portrait of this whiny, psychopathic screw-up.
Cinemas 8 24 42 96 109
Elvis Has Left
the Building
Kim Basinger is a traveling cosmetics saleswoman
that apparently has some cosmic attachment to Elvis Presley.
Trouble is, when shes around, Elvis impersonators start
to die off in freak (and funny) accidents. And theres
a convention of such morons coming up in Vegas. This is a
very silly movie, and went direct-to-video in the States.
Maybe I was just in the right mood, but I found it consistently
amusing. Of course, Im weird. Also John Corbett and
several of the worlds worst Elvis Impersonators. Directed
by Joel Zwick, who did My Big Fat Greek Wedding and a lot
of TV.
Cinema 32
Hostage
Though you may think from the posters that
Bruce Willis is trying to recreate his John McClane Die Hard
persona with this unpretentious B-movie, thats not whats
happening. In fact, if anything he (thankfully) dials it down
quite a bit in his role as a former Los Angeles hostage negotiator,
now a small-town police chief suddenly involved in not just
one, but two simultaneous hostage crises (one of which only
he knows about). And though it hurts to say it about a Bruce
Willis flick, I didnt hate it. If you can get past the
implausible secondary plot, several screaming inconsistencies,
some gratuitous violence, the overdramatic music, and the
overcooked, disappointing final showdown, this is an above-average,
nicely filmed (by Frenchman Florent Siri), brainlessly efficient
suspense thriller, and what it lacks in credibility it makes
up for with pure momentum.
Cinemas 1 29 31 55 62 71 82 90 95 96 102 109 110 111 112 113
116 117 118 119
Hitch
Theres not one aspect of this romantic
comedy thats original, but it really doesnt matter.
This fast, fashionable and forgettable crowd-pleaser succeeds,
quite nicely, purely on the charm of its characters. Its
just hard not to like. Date doctor (Will Smith)
with the too-cute name of Hitchins helps geeks
like (a very funny) Kevin James meet, impress and succeed
with the women of their dreams, but Hitch himself strikes
out when he falls for a smart, cynical and virtually unattainable
gossip columnist (Eva Mendes). If I were a date doctor, Id
advise you to take her to see this movie.
Cinemas 7 57 90 96 102 107 108 109 111 112 113 116 117 118
119
Elektra
You perhaps first saw Elektra as a minor
character in Daredevil, where she died. (Not a good starteither
dying or sharing a bill with Ben Affleck.) Among the weakest
of the Marvel Comics movies (its no Spiderman, but neither
is it as bad as Catwoman), this noisy flick stars Jennifer
Garner in a kind of dominatrix-themed samba-carnival outfit,
a paid assassin with an apparently irrelevant case of OCD
(SuperMonk?) doing battle with a silly script and several
underdeveloped characters, herself included. Liked it more
than I thought I would, but dont take that as a recommendation.
Cinemas 2 61 99 102 109 111 116 117 118 119
The Forgotten
Even Julianne Moore makes the occasional
misstep. This silly sci-fi flick starts out as a lost-child
weepie, then looks like it might develop into an interesting
memory-management political thriller, soon more resembles
a feature-length X-Files, then finally a really bad feature-length
X-Files. I admit to having jumped out of my seat a few times
at defibrillator-level jolts, but this does not necessarily
a scary movie make, and youll probably see these in
the TV trailers anyway. Im trying hard not to make a
pun on the title, but you can. And then follow your own advice.
Cinemas 2 10 26 45 60 72 90 96 99 102 109 110 111 112 113
114 116 117 118 119
Million Dollar Baby
Firstly, this is no distaff Rocky. That would
be Girlfight. But this is no Girlfight, either. Its
not even a sports movie. What makes this film about a female,
would-be boxer (Hillary Swank) and her gruff trainer (Clint
Eastwood) stand out is the third-act plot twist, which you
will not hear about from me, that leads it to address with
truthfulness and clarity several topical moral questions.
The film is beautifully paced, with not a dull moment in its
2:15 running time. A host of side characters, notably her
greedy family (mom: Margo Martindale), add texture and background.
Fine voice-over narration by third main character Morgan Freeman,
and excellent use of light by cinematographer Tom Stern. Oscars
for Best Director for Clint Eastwood, who at 75 is at the
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