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ISSUES 499-
ISSUES 449-
ISSUES 399-
ISSUES 349-
ISSUES 299-

By William Bonds

Chrysler’s Cruisers

The American auto manufacturer concentrates on the body beautiful

Posers, pay attention: Summer is here. It’s time to pump up those biceps (guys), expose that body (all comers), fry your skin in a tan-o-matic, and let yourself be seen.

Of course, you could do this by walking down Omotesando in a cutoff T-shirt and lots of jewelry. The trouble with fashion, though, is that it’s different things to different people. Look how many people think that the classic Louis Vuitton brown handbag is de rigueur. Sorry, but if you buy one of those, you look like a dork (or, as is usually the case, a dorkette).

So, the question is how not to look like a dork. A simple answer is to buy a cool car, although here, too, opinions differ. If you don’t believe me, try walking into a Chrysler showroom and forming an opinion about the Crossfire and PT Cruiser.

Putting out the Cruiser five years ago was a very, very brave decision by Chrysler. It is unapologetically retro and a true head-turner, but its appeal is definitely not universal. Buying a PT is making a fashion statement. And if you get the hot-rod-style, drop-head version (the PT Cruiser Cabrio), you really have to believe in it. “People will laugh at me if I drive down the street in that,” my assistant Al proclaimed. So he walked. They laughed at him anyway.

In fact, it’s a great-looking car (and the soft-top is definitely prettier than the hard-top), but people may still laugh for a completely different reason: It’s painfully slow. The 2.4-liter engine, combined with an automatic gearbox, produces absolutely nothing in terms of driving pleasure. That said, its retro styling both inside and out is pleasantly original. In a world where all interiors are uniform plastic, the part-metal dash is a welcome relief. The driver and passenger seats are comfortable (a bit cramped in the rear though) and with the top down, it’s a relaxing posemobile. Just don’t try driving fast. This is a car that is all about looks.

To a lesser extent, the same could be said of the Crossfire Roadster. While the jury is still out on the hard-top version (that narrow spine just doesn’t work for me), the soft-top is simply gorgeous. Remove the car’s upper garments and, oh boy, it just takes your breath away. The test car was deep, deep black and shiny, shiny chrome. What a stunner. There are few cars out there that don’t have a weak point in their design; even Aston Martins and Rolls Royces have some dreadful flaws. Externally, the Crossfire Roadster is near perfect. Where did they go wrong? Don’t ask me. The 19-inch chrome wheels (18-inch at the front), the silver flashes over the side air intakes, the rollover bars behind the seats, the perfectly symmetrical curves. It’s like Raquel Welch on wheels. How did Chrysler get this sexy?

Well, not through their connections at Mercedes Benz. Although this car is produced in Europe, it was designed in the US. After all, the Germans are hardly known for sexy sports cars. Porsches are ugly, the smaller Mercedes are stunted, and the Audi TT is the anti-Christ of auto design. Luckily, someone at Chrysler has the hots for topless autos (or, more likely, Raquel Welch). So Chrysler designed it and wisely let the Germans put the thing together. The result is a solid mass of machining with eye-popping looks.

The interior is far more mundane than the exterior, but everything fits and the seats are perfect for a long drive down Route 66 or, indeed, the Chiba-Togane toll road. This car has reasonable pretensions at being a sports car, but it’s no rubber burner. The 3.2-liter engine delivers 215 horsepower and is quick—but not fast. The automatic gearbox has a semi-automatic setting, but this thing really needs a manual six-speed, as is available in the States. The Americans also get the option of a supercharged version, which takes the 0-60 mph (0-98 kph) time down from a jot under 7 seconds to the 5-second range. Now that makes sense. Handling is all-around positive and makes for a comfortable, rather than spectacular, ride. It’s a GT rather than a sports car. On the plus side, the Crossfire Roadster is available with right-hand drive in Japan, while the PT Cruiser Cabrio is only available in left-hand drive.

Putting the top up and down is a breeze in both cars, but while the Crossfire manages to retain its sex appeal, the PT Cabrio looks a little uncomfortable with the top up, particularly as it envelopes the rollover bar, which is one of its more appealing features.

The Cabrio will cost you ¥3.33 million (although you can get the hard-top for ¥2.6 million), while the Crossfire will set you back ¥5.4 million.

Still, it’s a small price to pay for riding with Raquel Welch.


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