Occupation:
Writer, Humor Columnist, The
Japan Times
Time in Japan:
6 years
What do you do
here?
I write a weekly humor column for The Japan Times. I also do freelance work. I have a
humor book coming out in Japan in early 1999.
Where are you from?
A hick town in Ohio, USA. Believe me, you' never heard of it. What brought you to Japan? I came to Japan after I finished a master's degree in Teaching
English as a Second Language. That's also when I gained a sense of humor.
Are you planning to stay?
Yeah. If my first book sells well, I'd like to write a series of humor books about Japan.
Tell us about your commute to work.
I live on a small island (population 800) in the Seto Inland Sea so I have to take a ferry
to get to the mainland. I usually get on the 7am ferry, which takes about 40 minutes, then
I take a train another 40 minutes. If I oversleep and miss the 7am ferry, I just roll over
and go back to sleep because the next ferry isn't until 10am. The last ferry home leaves
the mainland at 5:45pm.
What do you like about Japan most?
There's no such thing as writer's block here. In Japan, there's always something
interesting to write about. I also like my healthy, stress-free lifestyle. I think it's
rare to be able to have that, anywhere.
What do you dislike about Japan most?
Hello Kitty, garbage floating in the sea, TV variety shows, no flush toilet in my house,
centipedes, kanji, outrageous Internet fees, ?gAmerican?h breakfast, key money, the
Aiken test, discrimination against women in the workplace, flying cockroaches. That's
about it.
Do you organize your CDs alphabetically?
Sometimes.
What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen or experienced in Japan?
Last spring I did the Shikoku 88-temple pilgrimage. It took me six weeks. (It's over
1000km.) Most people walk it but I jogged it and had some weird experiences. I slept in a
soccer field one night, a Zen school another night, and one day I made udon deliveries.
I'd like to write a book about it some time.
What do you eat for breakfast?
Potato Madness: Mix two eggs together and cook like a pancake in a skillet. Throw home
fries, sautéed onions, green pepper and
mushrooms on top. Add shredded cheese. It's heavenly. Then I go jogging.
If you could take one thing back from Japan to your native country, what would it be?
Beer machines. Without a doubt.
Do you have a favorite place to eat or drink in Tokyo? Every place, since there is only
one restaurant and bar on my island. When I go to Tokyo, I eat everything in sight. I
prefer places like the Hard Rock Cafe where I can eat nachos, pizza and a veggie burger
all at the same time. And then have a brownie for dessert. I like their music too. We
don't get a lot of rock 'n' roll on the island.
Where would you like to be when the big one hits?
On my inflatable boat in the Seto Inland Sea.
You have to spend the rest of your life trapped on the Yamanote line. You're allowed to
take one book, one CD and one luxury item. What would they be?
Jules Verne's Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea and Natalie Merchant's CD Tigerlily
are two favorites, but I'd never take them on the Yamanote line. The Yamanote line is much
too heavy for that. I'd just take a blank notebook, a pen and a beer machine (that's the
luxury item, of course).
Occupation:
LIFE IN JAPAN: